Worth the Wait

Most people follow life's path - find the perfect person, get married, go on a honeymoon, buy a home, have babies and live happily ever after. We aren't most people. Our life order is a bit different - we managed to get step one right by finding each other, but the remaining steps didn't go quite as planned. As most of you know, we went on to have a baby, bought a home, got married, had another baby and now we're finally taking the time to go on our honeymoon.

I've always thought age spacing between children was important. Since we shook things up by having a baby first, after we got married I wanted to try for our second as soon as possible. If that meant we'd have to wait for our honeymoon, than so be it!

The day we were finally going to book I thought it would be a good idea to take a pregnancy test just to be safe. Sure enough, it was positive and our trip was postponed. While I was looking forward to sand, sun and a screwdriver - it was worth the wait.

Not only have we booked our trip to Costa Rica for April but we now have a complete family with two beautiful children - who allow us to appreciate our upcoming vacation even more. While we might not have followed the typical plan, we're sure to live happily ever after - at least in Costa Rica where the drinks are free!

All Things to All People

I'm a people pleaser - always have been, always will be. I almost always take on too much, plan too many things and stress myself to the max - but somehow find a way to keep going. Outside of yoga, I've never been great at balancing it all but recently I feel I've become exceptionally bad. I try my hardest to be the best mother, career woman, wife, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, etc - that I can be but unfortunately right now I'm not sure that I've given 100% to any of those roles.

How do people do it all? More importantly, how do working mothers do it all? How can I be a contributing team member at work and still attend my daughters field trip? How do I make the time to visit my family & friends when I'm traveling around the world to meet with clients.

I'd love to the opportunity to stay home with my babies, but that's not everyone and we also need to eat & have a roof over our head. Luckily I have a fantastic husband who understands what it means to be a father. He's an equal contributor. He makes dinner, he helps clean the house, he drops the kids at daycare, he takes them to the doctor. He's the best and I can't imagine our days without him.

I will most likely continue to take on too much but I have learned the old saying, "you can't be all things to all people" is true. Now that traveling has slowed for a bit, I'm going to give my all to my husband & children - because that's all I can do right now. Thank goodness I have the most understanding friends & family - I promise I'll see you all soon!

Work Traveler

Growing up in an unincorporated town, I always hoped I could someday claim that I was a world traveler and while I have been up, up & away quite a lot - it seems my claim would have to be more of a work traveler than world.

If I sat down to make a list, I've probably "visited" the majority of the United States. Heck in the last month I've been to Seattle, Orlando, San Fran and their surrounding areas. Tomorrow I'm off to Phoenix for the remainder of the week. I can rattle off every work trip I've taken and I'd need at least all my fingers and toes to keep track, yet I couldn't tell you the last time I took a vacation and I'd be lucky if the list filled my hands.

When we got married we opted to try for a baby and if we were lucky enough to succeed, our Costa Rican honeymoon would be delayed. A year and a half later, we are the proud parents to a beautiful baby boy and I've seen no sign of the sun, sand or a screwdriver since!

Mark my words, I will put my passport to good use - even if it means I travel alone. Before springtime I will be kicked back on a beach, sipping a margarita and zipping through the rainforest. Until then, I guess the warmth of the Arizona sun will do.

High Expectations

On this Valentine's night it only seems fitting to post a tribute to the man who has changed my life. My best friend. My soul mate. The father of my children. The love of my life. My husband.

Growing up it was the norm to see the woman/mom doing all the work related to the home and raising children. Dinner, laundry, cleaning, diapers, bath time, doctor appointments - all handled by good 'ole mom. The man went to work, made the money and kicked his feet up when dinner was set. My whole life I watched this and thought, "no way!" No way was I ever going to let my mate get away with not contributing towards something he was 50% responsible for.

Now that I'm married I am happy to say I have realized this dream. I feel very lucky to have found a man who helps me in every sense of the word. Making dinner, picking up the house, dropping off the kids, sewing buttons - he does it all. Don't get me wrong, it's not always perfect and in times that I'm frustrated my mom is quick to remind me that Joe does way more than my father ever did for her.

They say a girl looks for characteristics of her father when choosing a husband, and while there are so many things I value about my father, I have very different expectations when it comes to being an equal partner. Times have changed and I set high expectations for Joe and I think he does the same for me. We aren't allowed to each give 50%. We give 100% of who we are, every single day - to our relationship, to our kids, to our home, to the life we are building together.

Happy Valentine's Day to the one I love! Thank you for all you do for our family - you don't know how much I appreciate it. I can't imagine spending the simple ordinary days with anyone else.

The Power of Technology

A while back I contemplated writing a post about whether or not social media was ruining lives, but decided against it since it wasn't exactly relevant to the general nature of the blog. At the time I felt like everything was so overly publicized and because they were protected behind the keyboard, people left their manners behind. Political debates, religious views and complaints from here to the moon & back - things most wouldn't dare talk about in an open setting - are now broadcasted in a public forum (and usually with misspellings).

Technology may hinder face to face communication but it definitely makes it easier to stay in touch and keep relationships going strong. While I wish life was simple enough that I had time to see all the people that matter on a regular basis, it's just not possible. 

Many argue that the internet makes it easier to say & do mean things to one another, but at the same time it makes it easier to do nice things too. As I have found recently people you'd never expect can reach out through the web to share compliments and nice thoughts. Sending a card can be cumbersome - you have go to the store, find the right card, buy a stamp and stick it in the mail. As a mom of two, a phone call takes time. After the day is complete and the kiddo's are finally asleep I just want to sit down for a second, before I have to do laundry, cleanup and prep for the next day. Most of the time, that one second on the couch turns into me falling asleep and never getting the chance to pick up the phone at all.

Not only are friendships still alive, that might have otherwise died, but crazy enough I have new friendships with people I've never even met. When we first found out about Ella's cleft we searched high and low to find resources to make us feel at ease. While we could find the basic information, we couldn't find things that mattered. We wanted to talk to people who had gone through it. We wanted to see pictures of before & after to prepare ourselves for what to expect. The internet made it possible for us to make it happen on our own. In 2010 we took to Facebook and created a network for the Cleft Awareness Foundation, with hopes of building a local support group. Less than three years later we have a group of almost 3,000 people spanning throughout the entire world! 

Love it or hate it, technology has become the way of life. Like most things, it's not perfect but for the most part I personally feel it's bettered my life and am grateful for all the ways it's help me stay connected and build relationships.

Guilty as Charged

I wrote this post this morning, before I was called by daycare to inform me Will would need to be picked up. I've since been at the doctors office for 3 hours and counting. I guess it's ironic that the chain of events seem to support everything I was writing in the first place--as parents we do whatever it takes to make sure our babies are happy & healthy and while its hard to take a step back, it's also important to remember it can always be worse. After chest X-rays, nebulizers and labored breathing-it looks like the common cold, that was costing me sleep - has turned to pneumonia and RSV & likely earned us a hospital stay.
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The last two nights have been miserable. Poor little Will has been sick, coughing nonstop and so congested he can barely breath. His chest rattles all day long and his sleep schedule is no more. Our house is functioning on zero sleep and just trying to survive without killing each other. This morning as I was up trying to get Ella to speech by 7:30 a.m. I thought, man this sucks!

Will is never hard. He's always happy, eats like a champ and sleeps for 12 hours straight. It's not sucky. On the other hand, when Ella was a baby it was hard & sucky! I'm not sure if all of our struggles were due to her cleft lip & palate or if it was because she is a pistol, but nonetheless it wasn't easy. On top of surgeries, she cried all day long and hated sleeping.

As first time parents we were so overwhelmed that other challenging things most parents experience went unnoticed. If she had a cough, it was no big deal. Dry skin, constipation, diaper choice? Who cares! We were just lucky she was alive.

A friend of mine has a child born with spina bifida and while a cleft is not nearly as serious, it was nice to have a mom who could relate to raising a child who wasn't "normal." We used to share stories of "other" parents ridiculous complaints and laugh. One day a woman, we'll call her Dorothy, went on and on about her child's dry skin and how embarrassing it was to take them out in public. Embarrassing in public? I wanted to say, "imagine the stares at a child with a gaping hole in their face or one in a wheelchair!"

I tried to remind myself that we all have our own problems and if dry skin was the worst thing that happened to Dorothy, it just might seem terrible but regardless, choose your audience wisely.

And yet here I am, guilty as charged! A parent to a semi-normal (I'm convinced there is no such thing as normal) child, complaining and feeling sorry for myself because for two nights I haven't gotten any sleep because he's sick. I have had worse, I've dealt with more but because my current reality is much easier, these past two days seem like a big deal.

The fact is-no matter what your circumstances are-every parent wants their baby to be happy & healthy and when things go wrong, no matter how serious-it's a big deal. We want things to be perfect, but that's not life. At the end of the day, all you can do is what you think is best!

SAHM

SAHM: Stay At Home Mom, more commonly known as the hardest job on earth! I have always had the utmost respect for these women and often wonder how they accomplish everything with kids at home; laundry, a clean house, art projects, baking, educational activities, etc. etc. etc.

This past Monday I got a taste of what it would be like if I didn't drop my kiddo's at daycare everyday. I have always said that I would kill myself, or my children and it was for the best that I went to work each day.

We started the day by creating our art/baking project - ice cream cupcakes. Whenever we bake I let Ella take control and the goodies are never intended for consumption, with the exception of me of course. I am never exempt - I always have to taste, she insists! They turned out pretty cute but unfortunately didn't taste as cute as they looked. There was so much frosting and the consistency of the cone and the cupcake wasn't my thing.

We then moved onto reading stories, coloring pictures and playing games. After that I successfully put them both down for a nap and proceeded to clean the house, do the dishes and prep for the next day. For a moment I thought to myself, maybe I could do this. Just maybe I could be a SAHM. Ella is a bit more self-sufficient now and has gotten past her absolutely rotten stage. Will is the best baby a mom could ask for. Maybe I could stay home with both of them. Then I stopped myself and remembered, it was only 1 DAY!

I love my children, they are my biggest priority. I love and cherish my time with them. However, I still believe that me going to work is the best thing for my family. It's best to send my kids to daycare, where they learn so many things I could never teach them. They make friends. They socialize. They have field trips.

And more importantly, it's best for me. Obviously work can sometimes be frustrating, but it challenges me every day. It forces me to learn new things and continuously grow. I love my work family. They are more than co-workers, they are my friends.