Not So Brief, Brief

I last wrote 9 days ago and at the time had a lot I could have talked about, but instead chose to highlight some of the Super Parents I know. Now less than 10 days later, I feel like I still have one million updates in our life that are worth mentioning, therefore this brief just might not be so...brief.

Ella's life is in full transition; dance ended, swim began and each day that goes by marks one less day where she gets 100% of our attention. With Summer upon us, I wanted to meet with the school district to determine the best course of action for her speech development. Sadly we will not be going back to Phonology Clinic, but will be making changes to our IEP for more one-on-one sessions when the school year resumes. Her behavior issues have seemed to calm a bit, but we still haven't gotten her potty issues under control (not for a lack of trying).
We had our last 3D ultrasound and everything continues to look great, minus the fact that the doctor predicted our not-so-little Will already weighs 5 lbs. 2 oz. Needless to say I am a bit panicked. I met with my OB this week and she says that those predictions can be off by up to 15%. She also said that over the next 7 weeks Will stands to gain another 4 lbs! Even if the prediction is off a bit...where I am going to fit a 9 lb. baby? The poor little man is already so smushed in there that we could barely see his face. His poor nose is going to take some time to adjust once he is finally out.

All this talk has us feeling like we should probably be prepared in case he decides to make his debut a bit earlier than August 9th so we're trying to get the project list wrapped up ASAP. Therefore, we didn't spend our Father's Day weekend relaxing and grilling on the deck. Joe was able to get the crib refinished and set up in the nursery while I finished the tedious paint striping. We are definitely making progress - I ordered his mobile, looked at art to adorn his walls and began to sort through some of his clothes - but we still have a lot to accomplish before he is here.

Before Ella was born we went on a Babymoon to spend some quality time together before 2 became 3 and I wanted to do something similar before 3 became 4. Originally I had wanted to try to go somewhere that required a bit of travel because Ella really wants to fly. Of course time got away from me and that's not really an option now so we are going on our family trip this weekend to the Wisconsin Dells. I wanted something that was relaxing but could still offer plenty of things to entertain us if we felt like it. We rented a cabin at a place Joe and I stayed when we first started dating and I think it's kind of cool to take Ella back there now. I bet back in 2005, neither of us thought that 7 years later we would be going back as husband & wife, with our 3 year-old daughter in tow and our soon to-be-son on the way.

Super Parents

I have said 1,000,000 times before that parenting is hard-but it's probably not enough to get the message across, so here I am again-it's really, really hard!

To make it better, no one ever tells you that you're doing a good job. They have no problem criticizing your decisions but when you're juggling a thousand things at once and trying your best - no one stops you and says, "wow, I think you are a great parent! Keep up the good work."

Lately it seems like I just can't keep up with life and I realize that this is the slowest our life will ever be. Soon we will add another little monster and have one more person to run to daycare, get to doctor appointments and provide for. I try to remind myself that so many other parents are going through the same thing and in most cases dealing with even more. I know a lot of great parents but a few stand out and they should know just how exceptional they are.

My friends Brooke & Shane do so many fun things and provide their two boys with a new adventure almost every weekend. Whether it's Twins games, Badger hockey games and even trips to Disney World - they never make an excuse about why they can't go do something and just do! They drive all over the place with boys in tow. I like the idea of taking Ella somewhere but in the end usually opt to leave her at Grandma's so Joe and I enjoy a trip to ourselves.

(Ella's first Brewer game; attended with Brooke, Shane and their son Cameron ---->)

I graduated high school with a girl who is now a single parent to three beautiful girls. A lot of times she posts her daily schedule on Facebook and I'm always amazed at how she can juggle so many things at one time. Not only does she balance having a full-time job, but she also attends school and still finds a way to go above and beyond for all of her girls. Her recent post talked about working 10 hours, attending one of her girls ball games, tending to their garden, sharing a bowl of ice cream and to top it all off - getting up the next day at 5 a.m. to take them all to the Dairy breakfast before going back to work again. The impressive part is that she ended it with ♥ LML (love my life). I can't imagine having three children at all, let alone trying to raise them primarily on my own and yet she can somehow juggle it all and then say LML. So many others would end that with FML (f*ck my life).

One of our latest parenting challenges is getting Ella prepared for this new addition. Might be a coincidence but I swear everything in her life has spun out of control at the same time. Speech is regressing, potty training is back to square one and tantrums are an hourly occurrence. I think instead of stressing about it I'm going to follow the mottos of the super parents mentioned above - no excuses and live life to the fullest.

Therefore, I'm off to plan our baby moon vacation...with Ella this time!

Sh*t My Kid Says

It seems like every single day I have at least one story about Ella that is worth sharing. Everyone always asks if I am writing them down to share with her later on. I do my best to document them all - like this one, but sometimes writing an entire blog post is too much work.

I'm sure you have all heard of the guy who started the Twitter handle @shitmydadsays - where he tweets all the hilarious things his dad says- like one of my faves, "Any idiot can get lucky once. Takes a special idiot to get lucky twice."  His success (3,057,875 followers) led me to claiming @shitmykids says, but that was taken obviously. I thought @shitmymonstersays was more fitting, but that was too long. So I settled on @monstersqotd (quote of the day). I haven't done much with it yet, but yesterdays story has once again inspired me to keep better track of all the crazy things that the little monster comes up with.

As I have mentioned, we have been having some behavior issues with Ella lately - including peeing her pants after being successfully potty trained for about a year. I have tried a lot of different parenting tactics (bribing) in hopes of getting it to stop, but so far haven't had a ton of luck. Everyday when I pick her up from daycare I ask whether or not she had any accidents. If she can make it through the day she gets a treat on the car ride home and a sticker for her reward chart. She was doing great and had stickers marking each day since Sunday.

When I picked her up yesterday and asked the daily question, she hesitated to answer. I felt her bottom and it was damp, but it's always hard to tell if it's pee because they play with water a lot and she has brought home one pair of dirty undies per day due to filling them with wet sand in the sandbox. As disgusting as it may be, the only way to really know is to smell them. (Yep, the life of a mom is pretty darn glamorous!) I asked her again if she had gone potty in her pants and she said, "No." I double checked with her teacher and she confirmed that she hadn't had any problems that day.

Great, right? Wrong. As I went to put her into the carseat her undies were soaked. Not only had she peed her pants, but now she was lying about it too! She didn't get the treat that I had brought for her and I told her that until she told me the truth of what happened in her undies I wasn't going to talk to her. She hates when I don't give her 100% of my attention so I thought I would be able to get her to tell me the truth by withholding conversation.

Wrong again. It did bother her that I was not talking to her but she held out almost two hours of the night not talking to either Joe or myself. Then she wanted to go outside so I told her until she could explain what happened in her undies, she had to stay inside. As much as she loves talking and my friendship - she loves being outside more, so she caved!

I asked once again, "Tell me what happened to your undies. Why were they all wet?" She put her hands up in the air, looked me straight in the eyes and said - "I don't know, maybe I pissed them...."

I was shocked and replied, "Excuse me? What did you say? Where did you learn that? That is a naughty word and we do not say that!" She responded, "I don't know. Sometimes you say that!"

I had to hold back my laughter and while extremely frustrating, she was right. Apparently my promise to not swear isn't going so well.

Hey, did I mention she and Joe started a band....named by her? Check out a sneak peek of Shock & Wally:

T_R_ I _ _ _ 3's

I love weekends! Even though they are usually filled with 1,000,000 projects - the fact that I don't have to go to work and am able to spend the entire time with my family, makes them pretty fantastic in my book. Especially considering week nights are so short-lived; by the time we finally get home, eat and give Ella a bath - we barely get any time with her.

This past weekend was a bit different. Yes, we still had a million things on the to-do list, to name a few: move the 5 yards of mulch to finish landscaping, buy and plant flowers, tape and paint the stripes in the nursery and buy & assemble Ella's new bed and dresser. We got most of them accomplished so that's a win, but spending time with Ella was painful to say the least. 

The title of this post could either be Terrific 3's -OR- Terrible 3's and unfortunately I believe we are amidst the latter option. In all honesty, it's impressive that we made it through the weekend and we're all still alive. Not only does she not listen, but she sasses, bosses us around and completely defies EVERY. SINGLE. THING. we say! Tantrums are a regular occurrence and she makes this whining noise that I'm almost positive makes my ears instantly bleed.

Most of the time the frustration comes solely from me because she is usually pretty well-behaved for Joe however, that has changed also. Part of me feels a bit of relief that he finally understands the struggles I go through on a daily-basis, but the other part of me just wants her to listen to someone at this point.....anyone, really!

How bad is she? Well, she REALLY wants a big girl bed and is so proud of, "Getting bigger, to become a big sister." So - we have been bribing her that IF she is good and acts like a big girl, we will buy her the bed she has been waiting for. As you read above, today we finally caved and just bought the bed. This baby is inevitably coming and we need to get his nursery set up, which means we need the crib from her room. At this point, it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel - so we just bought the stuff today since it was all on sale.

<---She is tiny in her new bed. If only she could be this precious while awake!

Even after giving in - she was still naughty while at the store making the $500 purchase. I tell ya what! I have no idea what we are going to do when there are two children to battle with. For now I will pray that she somehow gets her act together by the time Will is here. Wish us luck, we have 81 days to go!

Busy Bee's Part 2

I know my/our life is always crazy hectic and typically I'm able to manage, but as of late it feels like there are too many balls juggling in the air...and they just might drop! Maybe it's the second pregnancy that does that to people.

It started two weeks ago when I had to travel to Kansas City for work and it seems like it's been spinning ever since. To make it even better, I just caught the bus to Milwaukee and I'm currently sitting in an airport waiting to catch one of six flights in two days time for even more work travel. I first fly out to Orlando for one day and then off to LA the next. I get back late Wednesday night only to begin preparing for our neighborhood garage sale. I want to skip it but I think our house may literally explode if we don't get rid of our stuff! Joe seems to think its no big deal but he has never had a rummage and I'm pretty sure doesn't know what goes into the process.

This past weekend we participated in The March of Dimes, March for Babies. It was a little chilly but there was a great turnout and we were able to raise $575 for a good cause. We had some great family and friends walk with us and are hoping to get a team of at least 20 people next year. Go Team Cleft Awareness!

We had a follow up 3D ultrasound last week to ensure the little man is doing well. Even though the doctor didn't show up we were still able to conduct the scans and see him. He was/is super active and everything looked great! His lips and nose look perfect and we didn't see any signs of a cleft palate. He currently weighs 2.5 lbs and is in the 75th percentile-all great news! Since we didn't actually talk to the perinatologist we set up another follow up appt at 32 weeks. Even though going to the hospital is kind of a pain, any excuse to see him is fine by me. We also double checked to make sure he is actually a boy before we sell all of our girl stuff. The tech showed us his goods so lets hope they are right. If not I guess she will be naked and sleeping in a blue, orange and grey nursery, there could be worse things!

Cheesy Magic

This past Thursday marked 25 weeks pregnant - 15 weeks or 102 days to go. Everyone says pregnant women have a glow about them that makes it impossible to miss. I always thought that was kind of ridiculous - I mean, who is really glowing amidst the nausea, back pain, weight gain, etc.?

I don't know if I am glowing this time around or not, but I can say as I near my third trimester - pregnancy really is magical. Every time I feel this little man move it amazes me. I could sit and watch my belly jump around all day.

I am more excited than I expected to bring another little human being into this world. I think I appreciate the gift and it's miraculous qualities much more this time around.

Maybe it's the fact that because of Ella, I know just how much this can change our lives for the better. Even during the most trying days - Ella has made our lives so much better than I could have ever imagined and this new little boy will be the same, if not better because we will get to witness Ella experience being a big sister also.

Practice makes Perfect

The majority of cleft kids will go through some sort of speech therapy since the cleft affects the production of sound in some way, shape or form. In Ella's case we started Birth to 3 in the Summer of 2010. That program provided a dedicated therapist who met with Ella on a one-on-one basis approximately every two weeks. The first therapist we were assigned wasn't a great match so we wasted quite a bit of time trying to find the right fit. We were eventually reassigned a fantastic new therapist, however we didn't have a lot of time remaining with her before Ella turned 3.

At that point we were turned over to the Madison Metro School District. After Ella was evaluated, we met with our case manager and went through our various options; we could send her to our home school where she would meet one-on-one with a therapist once a week for 30 minutes - OR - we could enroll her in a Phonology Clinic that was more intense. She would be one of 12 kids who attended 2.5 hours per day for 4 days a week, for 6 straight weeks. After weighing all of our options we felt like the highly focused, consistency of Phonology would be the best thing for Ella.

We were told that most kids attended anywhere from 3-6 sessions (a session = 6 weeks on & 6 weeks off) before they no longer needed Phonology. We started our first 6 week session in November '11. The teachers were fantastic and we were able to notice a difference right away. It seemed like Ella was talking more (not sure how that's possible) and clearer than she had in the past. Every Friday she looked forward to her homework and everything was positive.

Within the first 6 week session Ella coincidentally had her hearing evaluated by one of the school audiologists - which she failed. When the teachers informed me I really didn't worry that much since most of those tests are based on audio cues and she typically doesn't do well due to lack of focus. I wanted to be safe and not sorry so I immediately set up an appointment with our ENT to have her ears looked at. Long story short - the tube in her left ear had fallen out and there was quite a bit of fluid built up, which had lowered her hearing levels in that ear.

We scheduled tube replacement surgery for February 1, 2012. For some reason I was super nervous, maybe because she was big enough to tell me how she was feeling - but everything went fantastic and we were in and out before we could blink. She even threw two thumps up on our way home from surgery ----->

After our first 6 week break, March 6th marked the start of our second 6 week Phonology session. I was looking forward to it because I hoped that with her hearing in tip top shape, we would see even more improvement - and we did! This second round wrapped up last week and this past Monday we had Parent Teacher Conferences to talk about next steps.

Of course I was traveling the first portion of this week so Joe went alone (other mothers reading this will know why this is an issue.) After 2 complete sessions, the teachers feel that Ella has gained all she can from Phonology Clinic and have recommended that she get some one-on-one therapy from our home school. She has mastered all of the sounds that typically developing kids her age do - with the exception of "S." They feel that meeting with a dedicated therapist, even for 30 minutes a week will help her to focus solely on that sound and improve upon it.

I have very mixed feelings about this recommendation. While I'm all for one-on-one therapy - if we get a bad therapist through the school system, we're kind of stuck. I also feel like 30 minutes once a week isn't nearly enough time, especially in comparison to the intense phonology setting we were doing. That being said, I am open to trying a new therapist - I just want the option to go back to Phonology Clinic if needed. In my mind, Practice makes Perfect - so why not continue going, even if the only goal is repetition?

Our insurance provides us with 4 speech therapy visits per year (a whole different story.) I have taken Ella in before basically just to have a second opinion. At this point I plan to set up another appointment to see if they note any improvements and have recommendations on how we can best move forward. I'm also hoping they will be better equipped to weigh in on whether or not any surgical procedures can improve Ella's speech production and hyper-nasality. Stay tuned!