Bigger Closets

With less than two weeks to go, I need to find a way to kick it into gear. As I mentioned in my last post (a million years ago) we sold our house and bought a new one. We close on June 26th and need to be packing since we have a ton of stuff and no free weekends in June.

The excitement of having a bigger closet should be enough to motivate me, but I can't seem to bring myself to get anything accomplished. We've started downstairs, but now our house just looks like a disheveled mess. Instead of organizing, my head is spinning with all the things left to do - it doesn't help that I have a lot of other balls floating in the air (Ella's surgery, Ella's speech, Will's surgery, summer weddings, my grandpas health, family pictures, ahhhh the list goes on and on and on...)

Deep breath! Back to the original thought - once we're cleared to close and I can line up movers and someone to shampoo the carpets - I think I can just focus on packing. 

I shouldn't be stressed, we had multiple offers and were lucky enough to sell our home within 1 day. While we'll greatly miss the home we raised our babies in and our extremely kind neighbors, we were able to sell to someone we know will be a great addition to the neighborhood. Lets hope our new neighbors feel the same about us. If not I'll just hide in my new closet!

Overflowing

It's been over a month since I last wrote (not counting work related posts like this one). Typically I fall into dry spells because there's nothing to write about, but in this case - life has been so hectic that I just haven't had the time. Now I feel like my brain is overflowing with things that are worth documenting that one post won't be enough! Between selling our house, buying a new one, going on a honeymoon, scheduling surgeries for both kids, family photos, participating in the March of Dimes Walk - the list of things goes on and on and on.

As I sat down though the most important & ironic thing is the fact that my last post was about the loss of a dear family friend and the importance of spending times with the ones you love. Since then I sadly lost another family member due to failing health and my grandfather was rushed to the emergency room with internal bleeding. He has since been released from the ICU but the scare it created is something my family was not prepared for. Hopefully as we go through many other tests, everything will come back in the clear and we can stop worrying.

Since we're discussing medical ailments, I'll use this post to update on what's going on with the kiddo's and upcoming surgeries. We'll start with Will since he's easier. Will was born with a condition called cryptorchidism, more commonly known as undescended testicle, which affects 6% of all newborn boys and it either means that the testicle just didn't drop or it doesn't exist at all. Most of the time, if it's there, the testicle drops on it's own within the first year of life. In our case, that hadn't happened - which made me worry that he may not have two at all.

We finally had the much anticipated ultrasound and were able to locate it within his abdomen. I feel very relieved for his sake, however that now means we have to have surgery to bring it down.  Nothing is on the books yet, but we meet the surgeon tomorrow to get things in order.

So now for a regular update on Will:
He's already 9 months old! It makes me sad that he's growing so quickly, I wish I could freeze him exactly as he is right now. We had our 9 month check up last week and he weighs 21 lbs. 9 ozs. and is 29" long. He is the most mobile kid I have ever seen, considering he hasn't figured out crawling or scooting yet. He rolls all over to get to where he needs to be. That doesn't mean he isn't trying to crawl though and I think any day now he'll be on the move. He's still not in love with solid foods, but he loves the Gerber Puffs.

Onto Ella. As most of you know Ella was born with a unilateral cleft lip & palate. That means we have undergone many surgeries already, with an unforeseen amount remaining. Overall we have been happy with Ella's surgical path, however as she's grown - things have stretched and shifted, making us feel like she could benefit from another surgery. Our surgeon is conservative and prefers to wait until they are absolutely necessary so we have held off.

In the beginning of April I took her to a routine dental cleaning and learned that she had cavities within a few of her bottom teeth and the teeth in her cleft line could benefit from some work as well. The front teeth are extremely important to keep in a healthy state. If we were to pull them out (after all they are baby teeth) it would allow her bone to shrink even more than it already is, thus making a bone graft down the road more complicated. So, within a matter of seconds the appointment went from conversations of what prize she would get, to when we could schedule surgery.

I quickly got on the phone with our surgeon and was lucky enough to get into Cleft Clinic that same week. After our meeting the plan was set in motion; in addition to the dental work, we'll have a lip & nose revision, fistula repair and the tubes replaced in her ears. As you can imagine, speech development is also affected by cleft lip & palate, so we've been in speech therapy since Ella was 2 years old. Recently it seems like her progression is at a stand still and I have yet to see an improvement in the air escape or hyper-nasality. Therefore, in addition to the other procedures, we are exploring the possibility of a pharyngeal flap (P Flap) surgery to create a seal between the nasal & oral cavity. I have about 1,000,000 questions and have yet to decide the best way to move forward but the only real way of knowing is to undergo a nasal endoscopy again. We have done that once before and it was terrible. It consists of a rubber hose with a camera on the end being inserted into her nostril and down into her throat. She then has to be cooperative enough to follow their prompts to say certain sounds, all while we watch to see if the closure is happening. At this point we're leaning on having the scope again so that we'll know for sure and then get something on the calendar.

I had wanted to get both kids surgeries handled before the end of June, so that they could recover in a home that is familiar and comfortable to them (more on the house selling/buying in a future post), but as this continues to drag out - it doesn't seem realistic to accomplish it all. Wish me luck!

So now for a regular update on Ella:
She continues to be the most rambunctious, crazy kid I know. She ceases to amaze me with the witty things she says. Tonight at bedtime I was asking her to act like "my big girl" (we're having potty issues again randomly). She replied with, "Well dad wants me to stay just like I am, but I can't help getting bigger. I didn't make that choice! God did! Silly God." We had a great turnout at our 2nd March of Dimes Walk on behalf of Cleft Awareness (more on the walk in a future post) this past weekend. She loved spending time with her cousins and couldn't believe that we all had shirts with her face on them!

Count your Lucky Stars

Every 365 days I get one year older. It's happened for the past 30 years, and yet each year I can't believe how old I am and wonder how it happened so quickly.

It's not unique to me, we all get older. However while I acknowledge my increased age every December, I somehow never remember that my elders continue to age also. In my mind, my grandparents remain 70 years old no matter how many birthdays they celebrate.

Sadly this past week I was reminded of this as a great family friend passed away. Once again, in my mind Howdy was 70 years old but the reality is, Howdy celebrated 85 years on this beautiful earth.

It makes sense. I've known Howdy my whole life and have tons of childhood memories that include his contagious belly laugh, his swimming pool that I swam in almost every summer and his always constant nickname for me, "Kelly with the green neck tie." He was a great man and will be greatly missed by his family and community.

I've said before that I don't love birthdays but not because of the aging. Do I love the growing amount of wrinkles each year? Of course not, but more than that I hate the reminder that my life and the lives of those who are so important to me, continues to shorten. In reality, my grandparents are not 70 but closer to 80 years old. I feel blessed to have them in my life and the lives of my children -most people aren't so lucky.

Growing older can be sad sometimes and while I wish there was something that could be said to comfort Howdy's family right now, there is only time. However it's important to remember to count your lucky stars every single day. Go out and live life with the goal of making as many memories possible & experiencing all the opportunities you can. At the end of the road it's what you'll look back on to determine the quality of your life.

"Vacation" Day

I do a lot of nice things for Ella. I play games with her, color with her, read to her, take her places, pick up after her, (etc. etc. etc.) and somehow, even after all of those things - we still manage to fight like crazy. Maybe we're too similar, but I'm definitely not her favorite, no matter how many things I do for her. Today I decided that I would take the day off of work to spend some quality time together, just the two of us. Typically when you do something nice for her though, it ends up backfiring - so I knew going in that this would be no "vacation" day.

The morning started off pretty good. She took a bath while I cleaned up the house and afterwards we sat down to eat breakfast and watch Cars. Mornings are usually a good time for her, since she's not overtired and watching television makes her happy almost any time of the day.

I then gave her a makeover, which included curling her hair and putting on makeup so that we could head out to buy our Easter goodies. On the way to the store there was an argument of course. She didn't want to go to Target but to the mall instead. I tried to explain that we couldn't buy eggs to dye at the mall, but she didn't care. I finally was able to talk some sense into her and we continued on.

Getting into the store was okay. She wanted to head straight to the clothing section first because I had promised that Target not only carried eggs, but beautiful Easter dresses too! I bet we pulled up almost every dress in the girls section that she "really, really had to have!" After 20 minutes she finally settled on one and we were able to move on to look for Will's outfit.

That's when things went downhill. I should have known better - that activity wasn't focused on her and therefore she got bored and moved on. She was running back and forth looking for things, climbing in and out of the cart, trying to escape to the toy department, pushing the cart into things, etc. I ended up cutting it short, threw a shirt in for Will and headed to grab the supplies we needed to color eggs and get out of there.

We got up to the front, unloaded the goods, paid, were walking towards the door and then I remembered.....eggs! The main reason we were there and due to all the ruckus - I forgot them. I parked the cart and we walked (read: I drug her) back to get the eggs. We paid again and were about to leave and of course this time, she HAD to have a hot dog. It was lunch time so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone - fill her belly and close her mouth!

We sat down to eat the hot dog, the worlds easiest food to consume (after pudding) and somehow it was dismantled in two seconds. Ketchup & mustard everywhere and the bun was shred to pieces. Only Ella. I ended up having to piece it back together and hold it as she tried to eat the rest.
I wiped up her face (she had ketchup on her forehead) and it was finally time to go. As we went to leave the food area was like Grand Central Station and we were stuck behind a large group, preventing us from getting to the doors. We finally got outside and were heading home when I reached in my pockets to determine....there were no keys. I then went to reach for my purse to grab them from their usual spot and ...nothing!

Yep, sure enough - in the middle of fighting, I had left my entire purse behind. SO - back in we went. Thank goodness the purse was still there when we got back inside. As I grabbed the purse and was about to leave, again - Ella asked if we went back in so she could have another hot dog. I think she was trying to be funny, but I almost choked her!

We finally got back home where things improved. The sun was out today, making it the first really nice day of spring so we were able to go on a bike ride and we finally colored our eggs! After it was all said and done - I'm tired and it was definitely no vacation day, but spending time with Ella, even when it is frustrating - is well worth it and the most entertaining thing a mom could ask for!

Ella Chronicles

The path of this blog has twisted and turned so many times over the past few years that I have somehow deviated from why I started it in the first place. Initially it was meant to be an online journal that I could look back on to remember the hilarious stories of our life. While those stories are sometimes intertwined within my posts, most have become big picture, deep thought, analysis-type writing. While I enjoy writing of all styles, there are some journalistic posts that are pretty hilarious and require documentation.

It seems our 4-year-old has turned into a teenager overnight. I always say 4 going on 14, but lately she has taken it to a whole new level. Now, not only is she naughty, but she's devious too. Every night at bedtime she fills her water, grabs a snack (no judgement) and picks out about ten different books she'd like to read. The other night we got into bed, but she didn't get a snack - which immediately alerted me that something was up. As I went to pull up her covers she panicked and reached towards her legs to retrieve a crumpled kleenex. I asked her what it was and as she gripped it close to her chest she responded with, "just a kleenex. You know how my nose runs!" I then asked to see it and she said, "mom - it's time for bed." The flag was up, she has NEVER said something to effect of wanting to go to bed. I demanded that she hand over the goods and as I unwrapped it I discovered she had snuck a chocolate snack from the pantry. Not only had she lied, but she also was smart enough to unwrap it so that it wouldn't make noise as she tried to eat it.

We then spent the next 30 minutes talking about why it's so important to tell the truth and not hide things from our parents. She promised to never do it again and fell fast asleep. Problem solved, right? Wrong.

Two days ago she was given Starbursts for being a good girl while running errands. She had eaten three when I said she could have one more & we'd to save the rest for after lunch. Without a fight, she went to the kitchen and put them up on the counter. Again, red flag. In disbelief, I snuck around the corner to watch and she jumped as if I had startled her. I asked what she was doing and with a Starburst in mouth she said, "nothing!" I asked how many she had taken and she replied, "you said I could have one more." Still doubtful, I followed up with, "well why do you look like you're lying then?" At that same time one of the dogs needed to go outside so I had to turn and open the door. As I did I saw her grab something and then quickly place it on the counter and she said again, "I'm not lying." I walked over to the counter to find an unwrapped Starburst that she had snuck down her tights for later. In her tights!

As I yelled at her once again, she stomped away screaming, "it's not fair. I hate you mom!" I have always known that this day would come but I thought I had longer than 4 and a half years. I shouldn't be surprised, I did the same thing to my mom, but I feel like I never pulled the HATE card until I was at least a teenager.

What am I going to do with this girl? While these stories are comical now, what's it going to be like when she's actually a teen? If she hates me now I can only imagine how bad it might get. Please pray for us!

Worth the Wait

Most people follow life's path - find the perfect person, get married, go on a honeymoon, buy a home, have babies and live happily ever after. We aren't most people. Our life order is a bit different - we managed to get step one right by finding each other, but the remaining steps didn't go quite as planned. As most of you know, we went on to have a baby, bought a home, got married, had another baby and now we're finally taking the time to go on our honeymoon.

I've always thought age spacing between children was important. Since we shook things up by having a baby first, after we got married I wanted to try for our second as soon as possible. If that meant we'd have to wait for our honeymoon, than so be it!

The day we were finally going to book I thought it would be a good idea to take a pregnancy test just to be safe. Sure enough, it was positive and our trip was postponed. While I was looking forward to sand, sun and a screwdriver - it was worth the wait.

Not only have we booked our trip to Costa Rica for April but we now have a complete family with two beautiful children - who allow us to appreciate our upcoming vacation even more. While we might not have followed the typical plan, we're sure to live happily ever after - at least in Costa Rica where the drinks are free!

All Things to All People

I'm a people pleaser - always have been, always will be. I almost always take on too much, plan too many things and stress myself to the max - but somehow find a way to keep going. Outside of yoga, I've never been great at balancing it all but recently I feel I've become exceptionally bad. I try my hardest to be the best mother, career woman, wife, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, etc - that I can be but unfortunately right now I'm not sure that I've given 100% to any of those roles.

How do people do it all? More importantly, how do working mothers do it all? How can I be a contributing team member at work and still attend my daughters field trip? How do I make the time to visit my family & friends when I'm traveling around the world to meet with clients.

I'd love to the opportunity to stay home with my babies, but that's not everyone and we also need to eat & have a roof over our head. Luckily I have a fantastic husband who understands what it means to be a father. He's an equal contributor. He makes dinner, he helps clean the house, he drops the kids at daycare, he takes them to the doctor. He's the best and I can't imagine our days without him.

I will most likely continue to take on too much but I have learned the old saying, "you can't be all things to all people" is true. Now that traveling has slowed for a bit, I'm going to give my all to my husband & children - because that's all I can do right now. Thank goodness I have the most understanding friends & family - I promise I'll see you all soon!