Mamma Bird

When I named this blog I didn't intend for my children to actually act like little birds, but it seems that is what's happened.

My maternity leave has been pretty smooth sailing thus far but as of the past few days my little man has become a bit fussy. We try to console him with his nuk, but from the time he was born he's been kind of weird with his pacifier and acts like a little bird when we try to give it to him.
Pinpointing the issue has of course not been that easy! It's no secret that I have struggled with breast feeding, both due to excruciating pain and lack of production. Why don't people tell you how hard that beautiful, natural bonding might be? Perhaps they realize there is no way you will try if you know going in that your nipples might just fall off (if you're lucky) during the process.

Since it was so painful to let him feed directly I have been trying to pump and bottle feed exclusively. Initially it was going well but now I'm unable to produce the 4 oz. I need for each feeding. A few feedings I gave him 3 oz. and he acted as if he might eat his own arm. Maybe he's hungry?

This morning I supplemented with formula for the first time and while it was only 1.5 oz - maybe he's gassy? I can't remember the last poopy diaper I changed and typically he's always dirty. That being said, as I'm writing this - I heard a few toots so maybe the bicycle legs we did earlier helped him to finally work it out.

Parenting is hard, but we must be doing something right because when we went to the two week check up, Will had gained one pound and two inches in a week - weighing in at 9 lb. 3 oz. and 21" long!

Lets not forget about our other little birdy, Ella - she's really more of a turkey though! She's currently with Gma & Gpa Stevenson and her cousins camping. We thought she might miss her little brother too much to go, but she got over that quickly. While we miss her when she's gone we are also looking forward to the break from her 13-year-old attitude. Lately she has been so sassy that she has completely defeated both of us and our parenting skills.

This past weekend we went to Badger Family Fun Day so she could finally meet one of her favorites - Bucky Badger. She was naughty beforehand and probably shouldn't have been allowed to go at all, but when we got there she was a pretty good little girl - especially considering we stood in line for an hour and a half to meet Bucky. As soon as we got back to the car to go home, she went right back to being her diva self and when asked if she had a good time responded, "I did not have a good time and I want a new mom and dad."

She's 3! If we're already experiencing her tantrums and slamming doors, what are we in for when she's actually 13? Pray for us.

Full House

August 4th, 2012 marks the day that our family changed forever - as we were blessed to welcome our little boy into the world. At 5:15 a.m. William Robert Leschisin joined our family, weighing in at 8 lbs. 2 oz. and 19 inches long. We are officially a full house; 2 boys, 2 girls, 2 dogs, 1 cat and a fish.

We feel so blessed to be given this new little bundle of joy and more importantly the chance to really enjoy a new baby. Although my labor and delivery was similar to Ella's, the overall experience has been very different.

I didn't realize just how different the experiences could be until the moment they laid him on my chest. Everyone tells you about the immediate connection you have and how you're overcome with sheer joy and sadly we didn't have that with Ella.

Looking back I think we were just so scared - about becoming parents, an unplanned pregnancy, a baby with special circumstances, etc - that we weren't able to focus on the beauty of childbirth. They whisked her away to the NICU so fast that we barely had time to even hold her!

With Will there were no worries. For the most part, I didn't have a pregnancy filled with 3D ultrasounds and stress tests. I didn't spend 9 months wondering what people would think of my baby and the number of surgeries he'd require.

When they laid him on my chest - I was proud. Proud of myself, proud of our new little man and more importantly proud of the family we had built. I was overcome with emotion. We were lucky enough to get to just lay there with him. No doctors rushing in and out, no whisking away our baby - just us bonding with our little boy and no thoughts of anything else.

To no fault of her own, Ella was a very challenging baby - the cards were stacked against her. She was colicky and her cleft caused her to take in even more air. She cried for 6 straight hours every day. We had a million doctors appointments. I was doing it alone (Joe started a new job 6 days before she was born). We said numerous times that we weren't sure if we'd be able to handle having more kids. Everyone reassured us that things would be just fine and that children typically are very different from one another and that the second one could be our "easy one."

Even though Joe & I were convinced we weren't capable of producing a calm and quiet child - it turns out, so far those people were right. Will has been amazing. He rarely cries, eats well, sleeps well - the model of a perfect baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative (that's an understatement) but I also feel like I'm somehow cheating on Ella.

At the time I thought maybe our experience with Ella was normal (I had just pushed out a watermelon with no drugs) but, now that I have something to compare it to, I feel like both Ella and I were cheated. I love her just the same and have even more respect for all the things she has gone through but I wish that we had that immediate, worry-free time with her. I wish that my maternity leave could have been anything but painful for both of us.

Speaking of Ella, she couldn't be more proud of her baby brother. We have been pleasantly surprised by her reaction to him! She wants to hold him all the time and help in anyway that she can. Last week she wanted to take him to Show & Tell at daycare, so despite all the germs we obliged. She was so proud and beaming with joy, which made it all worth it for us!

Cousins

Seneca, WI = population 893

There are so many things that I appreciate and value about where I grew up, but it all comes down to the family that I was fortunate enough to be born into. My cousins were like my siblings and since we all lived within 5 minutes of each other we were best of friends. We made so many memories growing up and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. 

While Madison is full of endless opportunities for Ella, small town life allowed me to do things that Ella will never understand or experience in the big city. A large part of that is that she isn't 5 minutes away from the rest of her family. I wish we lived closer to everyone, but we're 2 hours from Seneca, 4.5 from Clayton (where Joe grew up) and 2 + from La Crosse, where her only cousins live. Joe & I are continuously trying to find a balance between providing her with as many opportunities possible but also offering a taste of how we grew up. 

That's why this week is not only an exciting time for Ella, but for me too. With our next addition set to arrive any day, my brother and sister-in-law were nice enough to offer to take Ella for the week. They have three little girls of their own already so I was hesitant to ship her off - I wanted to make sure they knew what they were getting themselves into. After they assured me that they wanted the extra addition, we drove to meet them this past Sunday. With the car packed with her swimming suit, bicycle and endless dress up clothes - Ella's excitement could not be described. She was pumped and I was grateful that she would get the chance to build memories with her family like I did. 

We decided to meet midway at a park, which was nice because then we were able to see everyone for a bit. The girls all played on the playground and when it was time to pack up Ella ran to their van and was settled in without even considering giving us a hug and kiss goodbye. 

When Joe and I got back home it was eerily quiet and at one point I found him laying in Ella's bed. Typically we go to bed super late, but at 9:20 p.m. he decided he could no longer handle the boredom and was off to bed. Turns out Ella might be the only excitement in our lives!

So it's been almost 4 days together and after just checking in, I'm happy to report - they're all still alive! I can barely believe it. I knew this before but, my sister-in-law Heidi has the patience of a saint and has yet to ditch them all for a bottle of tequila and a trip Mexico. Not only are they alive-but they have had a week full of activities; swimming, red light/green light, duck duck goose, barbies, runway/dance party, walk, ice cream, feeding the ducks, baths...the list goes on and on.

She is having the time of her life and I feel extremely appreciative. Appreciative to have some adult only time before the baby arrives but more importantly, appreciative that Ella can strengthen her relationships with my brother and his family. Hopefully the experience will be just as positive for them!

Revel in the Moment

The windows are open, the house is silent and everyone is sleeping.

There are three of us (7 counting pets).

With less than 2 weeks to go in this pregnancy, I just realized - instead of focusing on the negatives of carrying another large human, during the hottest summer on record - I'm going to take the time to revel in the moment. The time for just the three of us is almost over and for better or worse, things will never be the same again!

More importantly,we have decided that we are done having babies so this could be the last time I will ever experience these feelings again. I'm not a typical mom who will go on and on about what a beautiful miracle childbirth is, but I can say that the time you spend carrying the baby is truly something to marvel and a bond that could never be described.

Soon enough I will be the mother of two, trying to juggle dressing Barbie while changing dirty diapers. So for now I will be patient and focus on Ella and the beautiful flower she continues to be.

If You Can, You Should

Being pregnant has really gotten in the way of my social life as of late. I know I know, just wait til the baby is actually here! However this past Tuesday, I was fortunate enough to meet up with old friends for dinner and I must say we waited far too long.

Not only did we eat great food, but it was so nice to be a part of adult conversation. While discussing the general "goodness" of people, my friend mentioned that her mom now carries on a saying that her grandmother once said - "If you can, you should!"

I haven't heard something that has resonated so strongly in quite some time and I too plan to carry on not only this statement, but way of life - even if I'm not family.

If you can, you should - sums up exactly how I try to raise Ella. I can't express how important it is to not only take care of your family and friends, but to think about those who are less fortunate and truly NEED the help. There is no better feeling!

On another note - please ignore my rather large belly (also seen here). I am currently 37 weeks, only 21 days to go and feeling larger than life. My belly hurts it's so tender! Yesterday I spent the entire day outside at Miller Park for a work outing and I'm pretty sure I was literally baking this child. There was sweat in places I didn't even know was possible. On a brighter note, today was the first day this month that it was under 87 degrees and I have thoroughly enjoyed the much needed relief!

Sacrifice

sac·ri·fice/ˈsakrəˌfīs/ : motherhood

With exactly one month to go I am starting to experience some major aches and pains in the final days of this pregnancy. I'm trying to remain patient and positive, but to top it all off I'm sick right now too. My glands are so swollen I can barely swallow, I'm pretty sure my tailbone is broken and this little man is so low that he is pinching my sciatic nerve preventing almost all walking.

Since my mother taught me a good bath will solve anything, I thought I'd give it a try tonight. I slowly crawled into the warm bubbly water, began to sink down in and just closed my eyes and in came Ella crying because she had hurt her toe outside. Of course when she saw that I was thinking of enjoying a bath without her she immediately stripped down and wanted to come in. Since that's the only way we could make her toe feel better, I let it happen. We then spent the next 30 minutes maneuvering around each other - her to play with her 1,000,000 toys and me trying to relax with a Barbie jammed into my side.

When she said she had to go to the bathroom I coaxed her out of the tub to get ready for bedtime. I proceeded to let the now chilly water out of the tub and refill it with clean, hot water. Just as I was about to sink back down to hopefully eliminate some of the swelling in my neck - my husband strolls in and has to use the restroom. For those of you who don't know - our bathroom is not big and the tub basically sits on top of the toilet. At least it was #1 vs. #2 but lets just say he left me with an odor that was anything but calming.

As I lay there looking at him (he was oblivious and I'm sure will appreciate this blog) I realized - I can't remember the last time I have enjoyed a bath, or anything for that matter - uninterrupted. There is no ME time. There is time for work, family, pets, cleaning, errands, projects, etc. Almost everything I do is because someone else needs me to get it done. I can't sit down on the couch and read a magazine without Ella bossing me to read her a book or watch her latest dance routine.

Currently I can't bend over long enough to paint my toenails, without experiencing a lot of pain. Soon enough I might be cooped up in this house with a new baby that prevents me from going out in public. Therefore, I vow to go and get a pedicure at some point this week. I hope to report back before the weekend that I have crossed it off MY list, wish me luck!

Speaking of lists - as I mentioned I'm due exactly 30 days from today (I'm currently dilated to 2 cm) so we have been in project overload. This past weekend we were able to divide and conquer and got a lot of things accomplished. On Friday we traded in our old ride for a new one (Toyota Highlander) that is bigger and offers third row seating. So far we love it! On Saturday I was able to touch up all the painted stripes in the nursery. It was a long and tedious project that I am VERY happy to have behind me, but they look great! Joe put the finishing touches on the changing table so we were able to finally start putting the room together. We also ran some errands and bought some necessities that we didn't have. At the end of the night I sat in the glider and looked around and realized how surreal it is that we will be welcoming a new little addition into our lives so soon! Motherhood may be a sacrifice, but one that is worth EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. 


On that note - I'd like to welcome one of my dearest friends to motherhood, as she welcomed her baby girl Bria Lynn this past week. Isn't she precious? I can't wait to squeeze on those sweet little cheeks.

Roller Coaster Ride

Slowly but surely you inch up the steep incline and just as you're about to admire the view from the top, you plummet to the bottom of the trenches again - right back to where you started from. It happens so quickly that you don't even get a chance to take it all in.

This past weekend we went on our family trip, a time for the three of us to enjoy one another before our life is turned upside down by a fourth addition. The trip was fantastic, I couldn't have asked for a better vacation. We stayed at a cabin in the Wisconsin Dells, which was the perfect setting to relax and still have some activities to entertain ourselves. The beach front offered a great opportunity for Ella to swim in the river and fish (or catch worms) with her dad. We grilled our own meals, enjoyed the nightly bonfire (s'mores) and even fit in a Duck boat tour and water park visit. 

Considering Ella's recent behavior, I had my hesitations for the trip and just prayed that she would be a good little girl...and for the most part, she was. There were no tantrums, she listened and was even appreciative for the trip! We thought that we were in the clear and that just maybe the vacation reminded her that even though we are excited for the addition of our little man, she is still important and our favorite little girl in the world. This would be the top of our roller coaster ride. 

Then we came home and returned to normal life. Her Monday at daycare was terrible, to say the least. She peed her pants FOUR times today, was forced to sit out of some fun activities and struggled at nap time. When I arrived to pick her up, with a smile on her face she proudly said, "Mom, I peed my pants today!" This has become a regular update from her so I wasn't all that surprised, but I thought she had only had one "accident." Then she proceeded to march over to her cubby where she counted out her three separate pairs of wet undies. This would be the point where we're plummeting towards the bottom of the coaster again. 

Our car ride home was in silence, which didn't phase her and when we got home she said, "Ya know what I'm going to do tomorrow? Piss my pants!" So, I guess we're back to inching up the steep incline, once again looking forward to the view from the top and hoping when we finally get there, that it lasts long enough to take in the scenery.