I would never try to take credit for someone else's work but when Caroline Mueller (a.k.a. Liney) shared this posting with me, it felt almost as if I had wrote it myself. A guest blog post on DesignMom.com titled, "Letter to a Younger Self from Megan Hinckley" is a letter written by Megan Hinckley to her younger self with the advice that she wished she had known when she first found out she was pregnant with her first child.
Sure... there are things that differ in our stories like, she was at least married - me, not so much. She forgot to take her pill for a day or 2 or 3 - me, not on it all. She was almost done with college - me, had just got the first job I actually loved and was focused on my "career path."
Even though there are a few differences in our stories, the similarities are overwhelming. Like Megan, I too was scared as hell with tears streaming down my face as I held the positive pregnancy test in my hand (both of them). I also was selfish and thought about the sacrifices I would have to make, not only to my body, brain and ambition but, what about my social life and fully experiencing what the city of Madison had to offer? I also wondered how I could care for a baby when I lived off of cereal, Easy Mac and granola bars.
The most awing fact is that as I read her post I felt as if she was writing on my behalf - expressing my views of motherhood and Ella that I wasn't able to put into words.
"The little girl who will love you more than anybody else. A girl who will run to find you first thing every morning. A girl who will learn from you, depend on you, and frustrate you. But a girl that will awaken a piece of your heart that you didn’t know you had."
Looking back I was scared shitless when I found out Joe and I were going to have a baby. I did worry about my job, family, friends and money. BUT - since Ella has graced us on this Earth, there has never been a single day when I think about the old times. I can't imagine our life without her and am continuously amazed at what a beautiful, strong little girl she is. Megan is right, being a mom rocks and it is by far the best thing I have ever done!